This should be written over a glass of hard liquer

As some of you (who are still around) Seemed to have noticed, I haven't uploaded anything in a long time, and anything actually good for even longer.
I'm late in my commissions (Yes. I have commissions, and you don't need to know about them right now) and it's really not fair to the people who asked for them.
On dA I only check my messages, and deviations by only a small number of people. I just delete many that I know I won't care much about, without giving a closer look.
And generally, I don't do much beside go to work, sleep and procrastinate. meeting with friends is too short and far between, and I really hadn't took any initiative toward fixing that, mostly relaying on other people organizing stuff and inviting me. Even when we meet at my place, it's by their suggestion.

I want to draw. I have these awesome ideas trying to burst out of my head, but I just can't get myself in the mood. I always seem to get myself getting ready for work, or coming back tired from work.
Even on my free days I tend to just play some games, or read a bit, and think that I should be expressing myself creatively.

I thought that maybe if I can't get myself to draw, then maybe I'll write. Those close to be know I can be verbose, even while chatting. I like language, and I can be funny. Why not write a script for a later comic? A short story? A poem? (I've written two before) I just can't get my mind to it.
I thought about acting, singing, doing stand up, anything creative and fun, but I just can't get myself to do it. I want to. I really do.

The easy answer is to quit work for a while. I thought about that. I should just lock myself in a room with a ton of papers and art supplies, stay there for at least three days and see what comes out.

I wish I could do that.




















The tense-afraid type of procrastinators usually feel overwhelmed with pressure, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals, and many other negative feelings. They may feel a sense of malaise. Feeling that they lack the ability or focus to successfully complete their work, they tell themselves that they need to unwind and relax, that it's better to take it easy for the afternoon, for example, and start afresh in the morning. They usually have grandiose plans that aren't realistic. Their 'relaxing' is often temporary and ineffective, and leads to even more stress as time runs out, deadlines approach and the person feels increasingly guilty and apprehensive. This behavior becomes a cycle of failure and delay, as plans and goals are put off, penciled into the following day or week in the diary again and again. It can also have a debilitating effect on their personal lives and relationships. Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression. Tense-afraid procrastinators often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends.